You know you're getting old if...

...you take a nap after lunch.
...the point size on your computer monitor is 16 or larger.
...the books you read have enlarged print.
...residents in nursing homes look young to you.
...you walk around with your purse wide open.
...when asking for scratch paper, you get blank stares.
...you know what chicken scratch is and you cook from scratch.
...someone says, "I'll dial the number," you know what they mean.
...your 1970 sewing machine doesn't look like an antique.
...you still say, "Roll down the car window."
...at one time, you had a gas station attendant who hand-washed your windshield, checked the oil and pumped your gas for 20 cents a gallon.
...buying five-cent Hershey's Reeses's Peanut Butter Cups seems like yesterday.
...you know why people used to dropped their watches.
...your first washing machine had a ringer.
...the way you prefer to dry laundry is by hanging it out on the line, even in winter.
...you have clothespins and still use them.
...you sift your flour and grate your cheese.
...you know how to poach eggs.
...a catalog store is something you can define.
...shopping in the Montgomery Catalog Store on Main Street once was routine for you.
...the thrill of going to the Five and Dime on a Saturday afternoon is fresh in your mind.
...there is a crank pencil sharpener in your house and you still use it.
...you know what a blackboard is.
...the first lesson you had in cursive was on a blackboard.
...you know what cursive is and still use it.
...letter writing on stationary is one way you communicate
..."text" was not a verb when you were a teenager.
...you still have a set of Encyclopedia Britannica on your bookshelves.
...the encyclopedia salesman and you were on a first-name basis.
...you know what a bomb shelter is.
...air raid drills in school are vivid in your memory
...your doctor is younger than you are.
...the mayor's name is Katrina.
...your senator's name is Sean.
...the governor's name is Chris.
...you're the oldest person on the block.
...you're all alone with no one to share family news.
...you don't mind growing old because you're tired.
...you finally realize that having grandchildren is the one good thing about growing old.

2011 © Copyright Paula Damon. A resident of Southeast South Dakota, Paula Bosco Damon is a national award-winning columnist. Her writing has won first-place in competitions of the National Federation of Press Women, South Dakota Press Women and Iowa Press Women. In the 2009 and 2010 South Dakota Press Women Communications Contest, Paula's columns took five first-place awards. To contact Paula, email pauladamon@iw.net, follow her blog at http://my-story-your-story.blogspot.com/ and find her on FaceBook.